L'étincelle

Or Flicker

It's weird right now. How I'm feeling is just really really odd and bizarre. I don't like it but it isn't unbearable...

I guess I'm just fed up. I'm living up to the random name I chose for this blog. I'm as wingless and helpless as the name implies. I'm just so sick of dealing with stuff I thought I left behind. I'm at fucking college. I shouldn't have to deal with the bullshit 'she said, he said' crap. I didn't want to go from one high school to another bigger one.

I'm just so tired of the lack of maturity here. I'm so so done with having to play Dr.Phil like I did to all my friends back home. I knew them longer, so it was easier. Here, I barely know these people. Only one or so seem to be sensible and actually mature. D is fucking fantastic and the most sane of them all, possibly with EP coming in at a moderate-distant second. Regardless, some of the people here are just so fucking difficult.

Yeah, I like them all. They're great friends but they all need to learn to grow some fucking spine and gain some maturity. I have my own god damn issues, I don't need to have you whining about something that could fixed with you stepping just a little outside of your comfort zone.

Wanna know what else tops it all off? I am now, more than fucking ever, feeling so god fucking forsaken alone. It's so fucking ridiculous. Where the fuck do I ever catch a break? When does someone ever hold me? I'm so done with being the nurturer. I mean, I'm glad to help, really I am. But so rarely does anyone ever help me. Yeah, I know I'm closed off and never truly open but honestly? It seems no one's interested and I'm just supposed to go on alone and pissed.

Fuck this. Fuck the situation. Fuck how stereotypical angst-filled teen this sounds. Fuck all of it. I don't know how much more I can take